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15-Day Challenge in 1 Post – ’cause I’m speedy


15-Day-Challenge

I’m not going to go into this, folks. Pretty self-explanatory. Comment if you feel the urge. Here we go.

Day ONE: Make 15 Book-related confessions:

1. I’d read the bible in dim light over 50 Shades of Grey any day of the week. I’m pretty sure I would get more turned on with biblical language than anything worth destroying part of a rainforest on that damn series. No, I’ve never tried. No, I won’t try. Kerrie has read some excerpts to me and I just shake my head while the author (whoever she is) is walking around with millions. There are porn scripts out there with better story lines than that!
2. I read the Hunger Games and was pissed to know she stole it from Battle Royale. There was no “literary borrowing” – that was thievery.
3. I love the word “festoon”, but only when I read it in the Wheel of Time Series.
4. I’ve tried reading Crime & Punishment twice and each time I’ve gotten between 200 to 400 pages in and I had to put it down. Same thing with Dune. I was less than a hundred pages from finishing that book and I just couldn’t take it. Same with Catcher in the Rye. The book has to hold me all the way through. Unless I’m invested. If you invest me as a reader, I’ll be your literary sex slave, but that takes some work. Unless you’re my wife, then it’s not as much work. P.S. Notice the words ‘sex slave’ highlighted here so you can go to Wikipedia (also highlighted) and see what exactly that is.
5. I read manga. Don’t know what that is? Click on it.
6. I’m 28 volumes into the manga (see above) series One Piece, and it’s amazing.
7. If I were homosexual and could spend one steamy evening with any male author (it would probably make the evening go more smoothly if he were also gay), it would be David Mitchell. That man can use the English language like hip hop uses the word “f&$#”. Simon Winchester too – that guy’s unreal. It would be a threesome, a train, if you will. But everyone would have to be willing, of course.
8. I will one day own a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary, probably the really nice one bound in blue leather and gold leaf pages. It’s better that we fell the rainforest for something worthwhile…instead of that shady Grey bullsh*t. – oh yes, one day it will be mine.
9. I’m a fantasy freak and yet I’ve never read the Lord of the Rings. Sue me.
10. I’m pining away for a bad-ass Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book for adults. Last time I saw any book like that was when I was in fifth grade. This girl named Nina lent me her copy and told me to read it straight through because it was interesting to do it that way. I did because she was hot and I thought I had a chance. Fifth grade. That was  a bad idea, though it did lead to masturbation, which, you know, after everything’s said and done…not a bad trade.
11. The Alchemist is one of my favorite books of all time. But it doesn’t beat out the Tao Te Ching (道德經). That book can make people fly. Like, seriously. Fly.
12. I have a thing for celebrities who pay ghost writers to write their books. It’s funny to me.
13. When I was a kid, my dad took me to the library to get some books. I picked a shit-ton of books at random and then took them home. That night I was reading aloud when my dad turned to me and asked what it was that I was reading. Curious, he picked up the book and it was a kids book about Swingers or Lesbians or something. The book was taken away and I have been searching for it ever since.
14. I think poetry is literary gold. One poem could only be something like five lines, but can change your entire life with all of the love that’s put into it. I think poetry’s been dying for a long time. No one reads it anymore. That’s one area of education I’d like to see stepped up. Let’s take the televisions out and have a bonfire. Let’s stop having the media and the corporations tell us that we should keep staying on the couch and listen to the balderdash they vomit. Let’s read some fucking poetry. Let’s think for ourselves.
15. In 2004, the national average for college-educated adults was TWO BOOKS A YEAR. Please tell me you are not a part of this.

———

DAY 2: What’s your bedtime reading ritual?

Right now I’m not allowed to speak English. I can’t explain. Just look up Middlebury Summer Language Program, and that should do it. But otherwise, I usually brush teeth and get all cleaned up before I get in bed and, ideally, turn on my night light, and read several paragraphs before I pass out.

———

DAY 3:  Who are your blogging BFFS?

BFFS? I feel like you wanted to type beef, but AUTOCORRECT peed all over you. Written Permission and Mainely Sane.

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DAY 4:  What’s the last book you flung across the room?

Poo is for flinging across the room. Books are my children. Even the shitty ones. And if they don’t want to behave, daddy’s got a belt….which I’ll use to tie them and take them to the nearest Goodwill shop.

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DAY 5: Recommend a tear-jerker:

Hmm, well, since all I read is fantasy, I would probably say the Hobbit or the Alchemist.

———-

DAY 6: Describe how you shop for books. Powell's

Easy. If you live in Oregon, I really like Oregon, and I think that it’s cool that you live there. Let me start this question over. If you live specifically in Portland, Oregon, you’re doubtless aware of Powell’s Bookstore. It’s a book cornucopia. I go there. That’s one place. I go to the Goodwill as well. Used book stores. I’ll get them at signings (see my post on Robin Hobb), but mostly at Amazon. It’s just cheap and easy. I know it screws with a lot of local book stores, but that’s sort of how it goes. I will support local book stores, and though I love B&N, I just don’t go there much. And if I do and I know there’s a book there that I want, I’ll just write it down and get it on Amazon. SOOOORRRRYYYY.

———-DAY 7: Talk about your blogging quirks:

Sure. I write blogs at least once a week. I write about anything that suits my fancy (I have a future post lined up to talk about people who don’t flush in public toilets and the unexpected ‘filled pot’ with floaters – you’ll wanna stay tuned) and what you see on your screen is what I’ve chosen to release to the world. That’s about it.

————DAY 8:  Quick write 15 bullet points about things that appeal to you on blogs:

Quick! Number Nine!

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DAY 9: Why do you blog about books:

Because you’re making me. Next.

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DAY 10: How do you choose what book to read next?

Pretty easy. I go with what I’ve heard from friends and family. I judge by covers. Oh, here’s a secret – I never EVER read the backs of books. I feel that it gives too much away. I don’t want to know anything about a book before I read it – not one thing. I just want to be satisfied with what I have in my hand and what I pay for. If I see something on the shelf that appeals to me, I’ll get it. If I’ve heard great things about it by those I trust with book recommendations, I’ll get it. If I’ve wanted to read it for a long time and it’s right there in front of me and the time is right, I’ll get it. If I’m stalling from doing something else and getting the book will help me escape, I’ll get it. Get it?

—–

DAY 11: Show off – 5 of your best blog posts!

LAME!

————

DAY 12: How do you fight blogger fatigue?

LAME!

———-

DAY 13: Describe one UNDER-APPRECIATED book everyone should read.

Well, I’ll tell you what. I won’t describe it, because I believe I’ve already touched on that bit (please see DAY 10), but I will recommend it. The book is called Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline, and if you’re into digital sci-fi, escapist, fantasy, 1980s culture shit, this book is unreal! I drove to Seattle to meet the author at a signing there (check it out here), and just had to shake the man’s hand. He took what Neal Stephenson did with Snow Crash and just lit it up. An unbelievable book that I would recommend to anyone (who’s into that kind of thing).

_________

DAY 14: Deal Breakers?

Yes, don’t suck. Let me tell you what – Brandon Sanderson has my ultimate respect as an author and just a fantastic human being. He’s a very popular author in the fantasy game, but I just didn’t thing his writing (from what I have read) is fantastic. It’s not bad. Let me emphasize that. It’s certainly not bad; I just have different standards. He does amazing things with plot, structure, pace, setting, the guy’s fantastic! Truly, I’m just a word snob. That’s what it comes down to. I was reading one of his very popular books, Mistborn, and had to put it down about 100 pages from the end because one of his lines of dialogue went something like (and I paraphrase): “I want you to dine with her tomorrow at lunch.” I couldn’t do it. Sorry. I love the guy, seriously. Brandon, I love you. However, I know he has written so much, his style has really improved. I talked with my brother who said he had the same feeling about Mistborn, but when it came to the Way of Kings, my brother said it was the finest fantasy book he had ever written – that’s saying something monumental.

Just, don’t suck. suck

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DAY 15: Book blogging mentors?

NONE.

LOVE, Peace, Swedish Fish.

P.S. Oh, I watched Out of Africa for the first time a couple of hours ago and it was kick ass!

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3 thoughts on “15-Day Challenge in 1 Post – ’cause I’m speedy”

  1. Nicely done! I too have never read Lord of the Rings. I really need to read Battle Royale…
    Ready Player One is the best. Hands down. Love it!
    I find it interesting that you don’t read the backs of books. I tend to avoid the Goodreads blurbs because they can be written by people and give a lot away… but I have to know more than just the cover personally.
    Your 24/7 immersion program sounds intense.

  2. I don’t always read the backs of books either. I was listening to a radio talk show the other day and the DJ was saying that she won’t read a book unless she reads the last page first to make sure it’s going to end well enough to make it worth her time to read it. Anyone who does that – yeah, they’re not a real reader.
    By the way, since we’re BFFs now, I may bogart this blog challenge idea. 谢谢

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