I’m stallin’. She’s too pretty to cut.
Boss told me to make it quick and make it clean,
Said he’d be out for the afternoon, and then he’d let me off.
Long as I get the job done, get it done right.
“Boss, why I gotta do it? Why don’t Giffy do it?” I argued, I did. Made a fuss. But it was small, though, not enough to make him mad. He’s not the kind you wanna make mad. Just askin’, I was.
He just gimme that look and then he left. Walked out with the other suits behind him, guys I don’t even know.
“Just get it done, Ben.”
Bossman calls me like that when he’s calm. He stayed calm even though he knew I didn’t wanna’ cut the girl. She’s too pretty.
The door closed and it was just me there. Me and her.
She just quiet, though..sleepy time.
“Quick, clean, and all the way through, Benny.” That was Louie’s voice. Tough man, Louie.
He’s been here since, I don’t do too good with numbers. Long time, though, Louie. He’s a nice guy, but we ain’t friends. Not in a bad way, just, you know. Business.
“Throw her out in the back,” he says.
“Trash bags in the back,” he says.
My cheeks still feel it when them guys pat me there, there on the cheeks. Nice job. That’s what it means.
You’re a good kid, Benny.
That’s what it means.
Just make it clean. So I do what I has to do. Clean, quick. Bossman said he’d let me off.
Knife is sharp I think. It’s the one we always use in the smokey room.
Sometimes I can’t see, so smokey in there.
Louie, good guy, he made it sharp a while back. I’m not too good with numbers.
He made it sharp and said it would be good.
I need gloves.
“Gets messy,” Louie said. That was a long time ago, he said that. “You take your mind off it, Benny. You don’t look at ‘em. You put a bag over ‘em. You make long strokes just like you do with your pickle when you see pretty girls, eh?
They laughed then. It was a long time ago. I ‘member, though. Louie and the suits laughed.
Bossman, he laughed too I think.
Pretty, though, she is.
I do what I do,
The gloves fit nice,
The knife, the knife Louie sharpened.
“Don’t look when they shake like that, Benny.
“Don’t hear ‘em when they scream.
You just do your job, see, Benny,
Get some sleep when you’re done,
When you wrap ‘em up and toss ‘em.
Tell Boss to let you off,
Then go to sleep, Benny. Go get yourself some Zs.
I do just what Bossman told me. Just the way Louie told me
A long time ago.
Even though the girl was pretty,
and I didn’t want to cut her though.
But she stopped shakin’ some, and I cleaned up all the mess. Boss man told me where the bags were
In the back.
When he comes home, he’ll let me off. I can see it. I know the Boss will be proud.
I hope so. I did just what he said, I did,
I’ll feel his hands on my cheek,
Good job, Benny.
That’s what it means.
Go get some rest, he’ll say.
Put that knife away.
But I didn’t wanna cut her. She was too pretty, see?
She was too pretty to cut.